


Villain Lab Safety

by Eternal_Love_Song



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Good Loki, Humor, Loki Needs a Hug, M/M, Mirror Universe, Shapeshifter Loki, Slow To Update, Tony Being Tony, Tony Stark Has a Potty Mouth, Worldbuilding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-06
Updated: 2015-05-06
Packaged: 2018-02-17 15:41:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2314772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eternal_Love_Song/pseuds/Eternal_Love_Song
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony Stark gets thrown into an alternate universe and, once he convinces himself it's not a dream or a trick, has to find away back to his home universe where things still make sense!</p><p>[Tentatively under renovations].</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is something I wrote and thought up a while ago, but I was uncertain about where exactly I was going to take it.  
> Then I decided to post it anyway!  
> I have spent the last two weeks trying to decide what to call this thing so that I could post it.  
> Clearly, I have the best of priorities.  
> (Not likely to update regularly. This is mostly a side project until further notice.)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony has a bad day and wakes up where he doesn't belong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This idea is so much better than me that I have a hard time trying to do it justice, but let's see if I can't mold it into something a little more than I did the first time. [1/2/17]

The explosion was not what Tony would have preferred in this situation, but he supposed it wasn't the worst outcome.

Now, he probably shouldn't have started touching machines that he didn't know the purpose or function of, but really, he was Tony Stark, there wasn't any technology that he couldn't figure out given enough time. _(A part of his mind had wanted to remind him that there wasn't enough time, but he had chosen to ignore that part of his brain, also on the basis of being Tony Stark.)_ He also probably shouldn't have been tampering with things in the lair of Victor Von Doom during a fight when he didn't know what the thing was or what it was suppose to do, but again, he was sure that he could figure it out. He dutifully ignored all the fighting that was happening around him to do it.

He ignored the doombots, his fellow Avengers, and also Loki, who was being restrained by Thor, yelling at him and demanding that he "Stop that, you fool!" I mean, why would he listen to his enemy, anyway? That's just stupid. _(And he had resolutely ignored the part of his brain that said he_ was _acting foolish.)_

So, no, the explosion was not the worst outcome. One less machine of Doom's could only be better for the world, really.

The worst part was when the explosion opened up some sort of black hole and he got pulled forcefully within.

That... really sucked.

So, mental notes for next time he had to fight in Doctor Doom's lab: don't fuck with unknown machines. Noted, memorized, and burned into his fucking brain, because it felt like he was being pulled through a goddamn explosion, even though nothing on him was burning, or signed, or even damaged that he could tell.

_(He ignored that part of his brain that was calling him an idiot for having ignored it, because honestly, wasn't he being punished enough right now? He did not need to hear this from himself.)_

The best part of this situation came a few seconds after the intense burning began, when he passed the fuck out.

It's the little miracles, sometimes.

* * *

 

 _'So, that sucked,'_ was the first thought that drifted through Tony's mind upon waking. His body ached and he was cold. Sorting out his limbs, he tried to put some distance between himself and the cold, unforgiving floor. Tony had yet to pull his thoughts completely together when words came tumbling out of his mouth. "I fucking hate Doom."

"Well, it's nice when they announce their loyalties, isn't it?" 

Recognition came instantly and he opened his eyes very quickly at the sound of the voice.

Judging by the familiar stone surrounding him, he was still in Doom's lab. That wasn't good. At the far side of the room he spotted Loki, whom he was sure had just spoken, looking at him very intently, and Doom, who had his back turned and was doing... something on a computer. Tony was too far away to tell. Closer to Tony, but behind him and almost out of his line of sight, was Natasha. Tony would have counted that as a win, if the situation had been more... filled with other Avengers. She was glaring at him like he was the fucking reincarnation of Hitler, though, and that was not at all comforting.

That was when he noticed that he was... contained, he could call it. He was in a glass cage that reminded him of what they used to contain the Hulk, and wow, Doom shouldn't have one of those (definitely didn't before Tony passed out, but he let that thought slip by without paying attention to it, more important things to be freaked out about) and he did not have his suit, which was so many kinds of not okay he couldn't even process it.

"Um..." Slipped out before he even knew what to say. "Any chance I'll get out of here if I ask nicely?"

"He seems the same to me, Loki," Natasha said. "Even if this does seem to be the stupidest thing he's ever tried."

"Hey, you don't know how stupid my plans can be!" He replied, which had been meant to defend himself in some way, but after it came out, he was a little lost on how it was suppose to do that.

"But there is definitely something off with him," Loki said. "Iron Man doesn't have magic, but it is all over him."

"Maybe he was working with Thor--"

"Thor doesn't have magic, not really. You know that Natasha," Loki replied sternly.

Natasha pressed her lips together and glared at him harder, which was not fair at all. Loki pisses her off and he gets glared at? What happened to justice?

"Scans show that he was at the center of the temporal disturbance and the magic that's around him is disconcertingly similar to my own," Doom spoke for the first time, but didn't turn to face them.

"So then--" Natasha began, but Tony interrupted, because he couldn't stand being ignored almost as much as he couldn't stand not knowing what was going on.

"Not to interrupt, but what the fuck is going on?" He asked.

Loki gave him a puzzled look, or more puzzled, as he had already been looked at like he was a fucking science experiment, and Natasha tilted her head in a way that implied suspicion, though her glare didn't ease in the slightest. Even Doom paused in whatever he was doing to turn and look at him.

"Whatever this ploy," Doom began, "It is a poor one."

"Wouldn't be the first stupid thing he's done," Natasha said.

"I usually don't have to remind you about keeping your personal feelings in line, Natasha." Loki said.

Natasha broke her gaze from him for the first time to glare at Loki and even though he couldn't see the look, he could somehow feel that it wasn't as severe a glare as the one he received.

"Okay, why am I in here and she gets to be out there?" Tony complained loudly? "And where are the rest of the Avengers?"

The three gave him confused looks, as if they thought him out of his mind. Well, he assumed that Doom looked at him that way, since he couldn't actually tell under the armor.

"Doom believes that whatever he has done to himself may have tampered with his memory."

"My memory is fine," He snapped, beginning to get irritated.

Finally, with a huff of frustration, Loki took a few steps forward. "Alright, answer me this Iron Man, what were you doing before you awoke here?"

Tony almost wanted not to answer, as they sure as hell hadn't answered anything that he had asked, but he did, hoping it would lead to them giving him more information. "I was here, fighting you!" He said as if it was obvious. "Then your stupid machine exploded and pulled me into... a black hole or something, I don't know!"

"Ah, so it is true!" Loki said, looking smug, though he tried to hide it under a thin veil of indifference. "There was a rip in space/time, just as I said."

"What?" Tony exclaimed, but went ignored. Again. He was really getting tired of being ignored.

"I don't buy it," Natasha said flatly.

"You never do, dear," Loki replied. And wasn't that weird. Had that... kind? playful? tone been in his voice the whole time? Actually, now that he was paying more attention, Loki looked... a lot less angry than he usual did. Unlike Natasha, who had been glaring since Tony laid eyes on her, Loki's expression had been mostly neutral, light even. The only times he had seen Loki grin had been filled with malice or mocking. It was... strange.

"The scans do not lie," Doom said.

"They can be fooled!" She said, raising her voice slightly.

"As can you."

"It won't do to quarrel before our... guest," Loki said, walking forward to stand just outside of Tony's prison. "Answer my questions and do not lie, for I shall know, and our Widow here is very eager to catch you out of truth." Loki met his gaze sharply, but it seemed to... lack something that he was used to seeing in those eyes, something fierce and broken that he had come to associate with Loki and crazy was... gone. That was the most disconcerting part of the situation, if he was honest. "Why did you come here?"

"To fight you assholes!" Tony exclaimed, but it didn't come out as angry as he intended, as he was rapidly becoming more and more confused.

"How?"

"We blasted right through the front door! You were there! You know what the hell happened."

Loki's gaze didn't waver, though confusion again touched his face. "What we? You and who else?"

"The Avengers?"

"Who are the Avengers?"

"You know--"

"Indulge me," Loki interrupted.

Tony really didn't know why he was bothering to answer at all, except that whatever was happening was just too strange, and there wasn't anything else to do. It wasn't like telling them things they already knew could hurt.

"Me, Captain America, Thor, Hawkeye, Black Widow, and Hulk."

"Impossible," Natasha said immediately. "And the worst lie you've ever tried to tell." She took a few steps closer to him. "I would never work with you and the Hulk doesn't work with anything, just kills anything that's near."

"Why would you and your... Avengers enter Doom's lab?" Doom asked, more calmly than either Loki or Natasha.

"Because you stole something from me and were about to attack New York. Again."

"Ah, I see," Loki nodded. "I believe I understand." Loki turned around to face Doom with a small smile on his face, looking slightly mischievous. "This is all your fault, Victor."

"Doom is not to be blamed!"

"Oh, but only you, with your unique form of technology and magic could cause such a wondrous mishap." Loki's voice was practically a purr and Natasha just rolled her eyes.

"Doom will not suffer you--"

"Again, what is going on?" Tony demanded again, seriously getting irritated.

Loki seemed to pull himself together once more as he turned to face to Tony. "This is just a theory, but I believe, and Victor's scans suggest, that you have been torn from an alternate universe. So then, ah, Mr. Stark, if you would indulge us once more, please tell us exactly what happened before you... awakened here."

Tony was too stunned and dumbfounded to answer right away, but after a moment he echoed, "Alternate universe?"

"Yes," Loki answered easily.

"You think I'm in an alternate universe?"

"Yes."

"Are you out of your mind?"

"Possibly, but I would not be the only one," Loki hummed. "Only a fool would take on the task of trying to protect this backwards realm."

"Doom is no fool," Doom said quietly.

"Not everyone would agree."

"Doom will not be insulted!" He yelled.

Natasha put herself between the two men, facing Doom. "Now is not the time to be baited by him."

"Nor the time to be baited by Stark," Doom replied and the history that Tony could hear in the words, the implied stories and hints of affection, also made Loki's words sink into his head a little better. In just a few minutes he'd heard so much implied history, as if these people knew one another more than a few battles and run-ins. He knew both Loki and Black Widow to be liars, but why they would be working together, Tony couldn't fathom. None of this could he really fathom.

"Huh," He said aloud to himself. "Alternate universe."

"Yes," Loki repeated. "Shall we say it once more?"

Well, at least Loki was still an asshole. Sometimes the little things really helped.

"This is..."

"Unlikely," Natasha suggested, though in a tone that meant she was belittling him rather than trying to be helpful.

Tony ignored her clear sarcasm. He was really good at ignoring things. "Yes," he answered. "That exactly."

"Ah, our indulgence, Mr. Stark? If you please." Loki said.

At this point, what the hell did it even matter? This was probably a dream... or something. So, with that settled _(ignored)_ he told them. About entering Doom's castle, fighting, touching things he had no business touching, and getting himself blown up, which wasn't that unusual for him really.

They were all quiet after he finished his tale, contemplative, until Loki said, "Yes. It was your fault Victor."

"Doom is not to blame! It was obviously some clumsiness on Stark's part that caused this. He did not even know what he tampered with."

"Yes, well, Stark is a fool." Loki looked at him with a curious head tilt. "I suppose that confirms that this one, mayhaps every one of him, is as well."

"I don't trust him," Natasha said.

"Doom has no wish to keep an innocent captive."

"We can't just--"

"I'm going to release you," Loki proclaimed, ignoring Natasha. "Do try not to attack us? Especially our little vixen here, she can be quiet vicious. Also, she hates you."

"What did I do?"

"Let's save our questions, yes." Loki went over to the computer where Victor had been earlier, pressing buttons until the cage was lifted off of him.

"Doom is curious," Doom said as Tony slipped away from the cage. "What is your universe like?"

"So, we're really going with this alternate universe thing then?" Tony asked.

"As that is the most likely explanation for your appearance, yes," Loki answered.

"Well, for one," Tony said, eyeing them all dubiously. "You two are villains."

"Is that so?" Doom replied.

"Interesting," said Loki.

Tony looked between. "That's it? No... denial? Or... I don't know, confession?"

"If you are hinting that we are villains, Stark, you would be incorrect. You are more villain than any of us," Doom replied.

"Victor," Loki said scolding. "This is probably very surprising for him, we should not upset him." Loki looked him up and down before adding. "Unless... Mr. Stark, you do not have designs to take over the world do you?"

"Well, I sure as hell wouldn't say so 'cause you asked." He replied, which was not the best answer to give really, but Loki grinned.

"Yes, I believe that he does not mean us harm. At least, not at the moment."

"I'm calling Bucky," Natasha answered, storming off.

"You know he's busy trying to catch up to Steve Rogers--"

"He needs to know about this. He can take ten minutes to answer a phone call."

Loki held up his hands in a placating manner, a small smirk on his face. "Any excuse to call, I suppose?"

She glared back at him before continuing to storm off.

"Doom does not believe it wise to provoke her."

"Yes, well, if I do not keep her attention, I fear she will kill our guest before we have a chance to talk."

Tony wondered if perhaps he was wrong and this is the worst part, being left alone with Doom and Loki and having absolutely no fucking clue what the hell was going on.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony finds out more about the universe he ended up in and struggles between disbelief and thinking how absolutely screwed he is.

"Okay, just to be clear about this, you're not evil, right?" Tony asked.

He was following Loki as he lead him through the halls of Doom's castle to a destination yet unknown. Tony was mildly worried about where he would end up, but since he was leaving what was essentially a dungeon, he was pretty hopeful that his destination would be a little better than that. 

"Correct." Loki's answer was short and he didn't turn to face Tony as he answered

"And you've never tried to take over Earth?"

"Correct." Loki repeated.

"And you don't plan to try to take over the Earth?"

Loki paused and turned around to face Tony, giving him a look of exasperation. "That is correct, as well, Mr. Stark. My brother is the only one with such ambitions as kingship."

"Wait, what?" Tony exclaimed.

Loki continued as if he had not been interrupted. "And if you would allow me to lead you to your room, I will be happy to hammer out all the discrepancies that seem to exist between our two universes."

Tony opened his mouth to say something else but Loki let out a heavy sigh.

"Surely you can hold your comments for a few more steps," Loki said.

"Don't call me Shirley."

Loki let out a deep sigh and placed a hand over his face, shaking his head sadly. "Of course you can't. You're Tony Stark, you have no concept of silence."

"Damn straight."

With another heavy sigh, Loki began leading Tony once more. "Since you cannot wait, allow me to tell you about our universe before you bombard me with more questions. We are, as I believe you know, in Victor Von Doom's castle in Latveria. We work with an organization called Hydra--"

"Ah-ha!" Tony exclaimed, but was ignored.

"--to keep the peace upon your planet and try and minimize the damage done by hostile forces."

"Oh," He deflated.

" _We_ consist of myself, Victor, Natasha Romanov, whom you seem to already know, Amora, another Asgardian, and Bucky Barnes, also known as the Winter Soldier. We are not the only force that Hydra works with, Of course. There is also the Brotherhood of mutants lead by Magneto, but they mostly focus on trying to keep their own kind in line and stopping or containing Xavier. The man has a nasty habit of using his telepathy to take control of very powerful people."

"Wow. This is, like, the exact opposite of everything in my... universe..." Tony commented. He still wasn't certain that he believed he was in an alternate universe. I mean, regardless of whether or not other universes existed (which he could totally believe, because the awesomeness that was Tony Stark could not be contained in a single world), it was much more likely that this was a trick. Plus, he was completely and totally unwilling to believe that Doom of all people made a machine that could go to other universes when Tony had not. No way, no how, and it probably only worked because of what Tony did anyway!

"Lost in your thoughts, Stark?"

"Huh?" He looked up when he heard Loki's voice so close him and stumbled upon finding the trickster was right by his ear.

Loki grinned, a mischievous thing that was as wide as his face, before speaking again. "I figured as much. That's the only way I could imagine you staying quiet for longer than two seconds." Stepping to the side of him, Loki gestured to a door that he assumed was the room he was being lead to.

Looking around, he was surprised to find that he was in a completely different hallway. Fuck. He was going to get so lost in this place, which would really make trying to sneak out difficult. Had he really been so caught up in his own thoughts that he didn't even notice moving through the lair of fucking Doom? He must be off his game. Maybe that explosion broke something....

At Loki's prompting he pushed open the door, almost surprised to find a normal bedroom on the other side. A room with a bed and dressers and windows! He'd been sure he was being led to some creepy holding cell or a torture chamber where he would never see the light of day again. (Except he would, because breaking out of things like that was a Tony Stark specialty.) Loki stayed by the door as Tony wandered in.

"You can use this room for the duration of your stay," Loki was saying. "No one will enter without your permission, not even Natasha. I'll make sure of that. So if you have or obtain any possessions they will be safe here."

"No one will come in?" Tony asked, raising a skeptical eyebrow.

"Not without permission."

"Under no circumstances?"

"None, Stark. So if you'd like a concession on the basis that we may enter to save your life in case of an attack or something similar, then you'd best say so now. Even Natasha agreed to that stipulation." Loki told him.

"Not even if I'm creating something that I'll use to take you all out?" Tony asked, because he couldn't keep is mouth shut and was never one for playing close to the vest.

"We'd just post Victor's creations outside your door," Loki answered. "They are machines of magic, you know."

"Not even if I plan this blow this play up from inside my room?"

Loki smiled a little and shook his head. "Amora or myself could easily create a force field around this room to contain the blast."

"Huh." Tony was stumped. With magic and semi-sentient robots patrolling the place they never had to enter his room to stop anything he might get up to. Tony was well and truly fucked. "Well, you can come in, this one time, so we can finish talking. It's really weird having you hover by my door that way."

Loki laughed as he entered the room and went to sit on a couch near to the window, which was unfortunately too high to sneak out of. Tony sat in a chair by the desk, turning it to face the trickster. "So, tell me about your world's villains."

"Well, there's Shield, they often work with Stark Industries to turn any dangerous or otherworldly thing they find into a weapon of mass destruction. Or any destruction, in Stark Industries case. Shield has a gift for finding things that don't belong on this planet, such as my brother and the Tesseract."

"Wait, wait, wait," Tony interrupted. "My company's working with Shield?"

Loki gave Tony a look he couldn't decipher. "Your company works with everyone and anyone, Stark. Weapons aren't usually picky about who wields them. At least, not on Midgard, and you seem to get a kick out of giving them out like candy. I think you like the chaos. Really, I'd almost think you were trying to make a tribute to me with the way you cause as much chaos as possible, but you've mentioned numerous times that you don't believe in gods." Loki gave him a pointed look then. "Which is utterly foolish, by the way, when you've gods standing right before you."

Tony wasn't affected by the scolding. He was still focused on the part where his company made weapons and worked with apparently evil organizations. "What about me? What, uh, what do I do?"

"Whatever you want, if we don't stop you," Loki shrugged. "I'm told you've a lot of leverage because so many people depend on your company for defense, which is likely why Hydra dispatches us to calm you down so often."

Tony wasn't sure how he felt about this revelation, but he was sure it wasn't good. He decided to try and push the thought out of is mind with information on the other Avengers. "Tell me about the others. You mentioned Steve Rogers and the Hulk."

"Ah, yes," Loki agreed easily. His eyes were focused on Tony as if he could see through him. And maybe he could. Whatever reaction he was having to this information, he didn't feel as if he was hiding it very well. "The Hulk is the result of some scientific accident. There was an experiment that created the beast and destroyed his mind. Hydra tries to keep him contained, but whenever he is able to escape he causes nothing but wanton destruction. Several people have tried to either cure or kill the beast to no avail." Tony definitely didn't like his friend being talked about this way. It made something well up in the back of his throat to think that Bruce could have lost his mind completely in the experiment that created the Hulk, instead of having the half control that he struggled to gain and maintain now.

Loki was either unaware of his reaction or chose to ignore it, because he continued. "Steve Rogers was a soldier during one of your wars and had been a subject in some superhuman program, but he was captured and placed on ice by Shield as they tried to recreate the serum. When that failed, they altered his mind and used him as an assassin. Bucky Barnes, one of ours, suffered a similar fate. He was a hero of the war and was frozen through the means of some accident or other. He was friends with Steve Rogers and as soon as he found that he was still alive, he left us to go traipsing after him. He always does when there is even a hint of Steve Rogers presence. Sometimes Natasha will go with him, sometimes not."

Tony nodded. A little different, but it was still a story he recognized. "What about Thor and Hawkeye?"

"Hawkeye?" Loki repeated.

"Clint Barton?" Tony tried again.

"I'm afraid I do not know this one. Perhaps ask Victor," Loki suggested. "I am not always on world, as it were. I've duties to attend on Asgard, especially after..." A pained look flashed across his face and he closed his eyes. Tony wanted to say something, but Loki spoke first. "You ask after my brother, do you... you know him, yes? He is one of your... Avengers?"

"Yeah."

"What is he like in your universe?"

Tony shrugged, a little unsure what to say. "Like a great big puppy," He decided finally and Loki opened his eyes to look at him. "He's like this big ball of exuberance and excitement. Almost always happy, except for... um, well, except for when you're around. Cause you're kinda evil in my world and he gets this really pained look whenever you're mentioned, but he's always quick to defend you!"

"I see... so there is a place where my brother does indeed love me..." Loki murmured. He was looking off to the side, lost in memories, face turned away from Tony's. "My brother..." Loki paused, took a breath, and started again. "My brother was banished to Midgard some time ago. He was to be crowned king, but... there was an incident during the coronation... In his absence, I was made king for a time while our father was indisposed, but Thor... he was livid when he returned. He accused me of trying to take what what rightly his and I tried to explain but he would have none of it. We fought and the Bifrost was destroyed and he... he fell. We were so worried. When he turned up on Midgard I came for him with Amora, she was his intended, you see, but he was so angry. He wanted nothing to do with me. He proclaimed that he was done with Asgard and if he could not have that world, he would have this one. Things only got worse when he found out what I really am. He tries to kill me on sight now, but I cannot allow him to do as he pleases here. Not when all of this is my fault.

"I know that my brother will hate me no matter what, but I have to make him understand that he has not lost his place on Asgard. It is our... his home... and everyone would take him back if he would just..." Loki seemed to realize what he was saying and pull himself out of his daze. "I should not be going on like this, you wanted to know of our villains, not of my plights and pains." Loki gave him a small smile, so obviously forced that it hurt to see. Tony tried to smile back. His heart went out to the guy.

He reminded himself very firmly that this was Loki and that this whole thing was likely a dream or a trick and said, "Right, so, other villains."

Taking a steadying breath, Loki went on. "There are the Fatal Four, old associates of Victor's. They were all in some sort of accident that gave them all powers, but they chose to lash out in their rage and Victor didn't. Reed Richard has dropped out of the public eye lately, along with Susan Storm, but the other two seem to only get more aggressively violent."

"I think your universe may have it worse than mine."

Loki let out a quick laugh. "It is not so bad as it sounds, really. I do not know all of this world's heroes, and things always seem worse the closer you are to them." Loki straightened up and made to stand. "Well, I'm certain you must be tired after being flung through universes. I'll let you rest and someone will come for you once dinner is ready."

"Yeah, thanks," Tony replied. He watched Loki leave then got up and threw himself down on the bed. Staring up at the ceiling, he tried to figure out what had just happened and and if he had really just sympathized with Loki.

 _'Well it doesn't count, because this is another universe.'_ He told himself.

Which... wasn't it suppose to be the opposite that he was arguing?

Whatever, he just really needed sleep. That would fix this.

* * *

 

It was several hours later when someone came to remind him of Dinner. It was really unnerving to open the door and find Natasha's death glare on the other side of it. He was frozen for a moment before he blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "Loki said you're not allowed to come in here." He took a few steps away from the door as he said it, not wanting to be pulled outside his room so that she could murder him.

He wanted to kick himself for trusting Loki's word and trying to use those words to defend himself, but he couldn't worry about that now. Now, all he could worry about was how to keep a trained and very skilled assassin from killing him.

He was so very thoroughly fucked.

She glared at him a little longer before she finally spoke, practically spitting out the words. "I know." She took a few steps back from his door, until she was nearly leaning against the wall across from it. "I'm not allowed to kill you, either."

He hesitatingly took a few steps toward the door and just as he stepped into the hallway, her lips pulled up into a dangerous and cruel smile. "For now," She added.

He froze mid step, eyes widening as he looked her, but she only turned her back on him and walked away. It was a few steps before he recalled having no idea where they were going and resolved to sacrifice his life to find the location of dinner. With that resolved (read, ignored like all the other things bothering him) he followed her at a cautious pace.

How did he get into these situations? ( _By touching things that don't belong to you and being reckless_ , one part of his mind answered. He firmly told that voice to shut it. He didn't have to take this crap from himself, after all.)

It took longer than he thought it should have to reach the Dinning room and he wondered if Natasha had purposely taken him the longest route possible, because he couldn't remember the exact way that he got here. Why did Doom have such a stupidly complicated layout? How the man ever get around?

The dinning room was pretty impressive. Massive murals hung on the walls and sconces and candelabras were everywhere, bathing the place in candle light. Very medeavil. He could see why Loki and Doom seemed to get along so well. He, of course, said the first thing that popped into his mind when he entered the room. "So, no electricity?"

"Of course there is electricity. Don't be obtuse, Stark," Replied with a dark haired woman with sinful curves that had just entered the room. She was carrying serving platters and placed them on the table with casual and efficiency. She folded her arms as she looked at him, which only pressed her breast up and stole almost all of his attention. "This is a stylistic effect, a matter of taste." She reached over and flipped a switch and artificial light flooded the room. He had to blink away the spots in his vision at the new brightness. "You see, isn't it much more pleasant without these loud blaring things?" She flipped the light back off.

"So, not that I'm not use to be yelled at by beautiful women, but I usually get their names somewhere during that process."

She grinned, wide and amused. "You'll figure it out, Stark."

Victor entered the room as the woman was on her way out, carrying similar trays. Natasha, who had disappeared at someone point, returned with a glass of white wine in hand, sitting to the left of the head seat at the massive table. She was glaring, but kept her eyes firmly off of him as Victor and the mystery woman set up the table. Tony just watched. The last dish was brought in by an equally distracting blonde and Tony sent a million mental curses at Doom for having a castle filled with sexy women. Life was just not fair. At all!

"Why is Stark in our dining room?" The blonde asked.

"He got hurled here from an alternate dimension," The raven haired woman replied.

"Hmm, and are we hurling him back?"

"In time," Was the coy response and what did that even mean? Did they have a way to send him back and were just sitting on it? "Stark, this is Amora of Asgard, betrothed to Thor."

"So off limits, then," He said without thinking.

She slinked towards him, hips moving in a hypnotic dance as she came to stand before him, placing her hands on his chest and bending down to stare directly into his eyes. (Stupid, tall, Asgardians!) "Stark," She purred, "I wouldn't be with you if I was on fire and your skin contained the only water in the world."

"Ouch," He winced at the insult and the dark haired woman laughed.

"I do not know what you are like in your world, Stark, but here you have something of a reputation." She smiled a secret smile. "A very poor one, might I add."

"Hey! I am a sex god!" He objected.

"That is not what I was implying."

"Loki, do not rile up our guest," Doom said and Tony stopped dead in his tracks. "I thought we agreed to treat him differently than the Stark of our world."

"Did we? I can't recall."

Tony felt like the floor had just dropped from underneath him. "Hold on! You're Loki!" The grin that followed was one that perfectly reminded him of the trickster. Tony didn't know how he didn't see it. "You can turn into a woman?"

"I can turn into a great many things," Loki replied. "That's why I'm the favorite around here."

"You are not the favorite, Loki," Natasha objected.

Loki rolled his eyes as he went to his seat to the right of the table's head, Amora sitting beside Natasha. Loki looked at him and mouthed conspicuously 'I am the favorite.'

Tony let out a laugh and went to sit next to the trickster. Victor sat at the head of the table. Well, if he had to be trapped in some sort of weird hell dimension, at least he was trapped with interesting people and beautiful woman. Beautiful women he couldn't sleep with, sure, but concessions had to be made. This was a hell dimension, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of my favorite things about this story is all the potential smaller stories it has.  
> Specifically, the story outlined between Loki and Thor here.  
> I want to write it, but I don't think I'll be able to. Something about trying to write in the setting of Asgard makes things difficult for me. 
> 
> Also, question to the readers. Does anyone care about what happens in our main universe? I'm debating whether or not I should go between the two or just have the craziness told to Tony when he gets back. What do you guys think? Let me know.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mistakes may apply.

Dinner passed quickly. It was a blur of casual conversation and being mostly ignored, both things he had a hard time coming to terms with. Because one, he was Tony Stark. Who could ignore that? And two, villains being casual and familiar? Completely surreal.

Though he guessed that they weren't villains here...

Still really freaky, though.

After dinner Doomsbots, that looked a lot more advanced and functional than he was used to, cleared away the table. Natasha was immediately glaring at the table at large. "So how are we getting rid of him," She demanded.

Doom sighed heavily as he turned to her. He hadn't exactly removed his mask over the course of the meal, so much as adjusted it so that he could eat, and it was once again firmly in place. Tony wondered if he'd ever get the chance to see exactly what Doom's face looked like. "Obviously I must recreate the machine that brought him here in the first place."

"What brought him here, anyway?" Amora questioned.

"It was Victor's fault," Loki said immediately.

"Doom is not to blame!" The man refuted.

Loki grinned widely. "Stark's ineptitude with Victor's devices," He said next.

"Hey!" Tony objected.

Loki's grin only got wider. It was sharp and dangerous and mischievous. It perfectly suited the more feminine face and was more attractive than he wanted to admit. So was male Loki, but he didn't want to admit to that most times, either. Loki was the the dangerous type of attractive. The type that lead one to walk down dark allies at night and made you throw sensibility out the window. (Tony did enough of that on his own.) This female Loki was like a femme fatale, and he already had Natasha if he wanted to make that bad decision.

"Loki," Amora sighed. "I realize your goal is to offend as many as possible, but I really would like to know what is going on."

Doom took it upon himself to offer the explanation that Tony had given them earlier.

"Hmm." Amora frowned lightly as she thought. "Why don't we just create a spell?"

"To break through the walls of our dimension?" Loki asked, skepticism plain on her face.

"Yes."

"Do you know how many things are wrong with that idea?"

Amora shot him a look. "Are you saying you don't think yourself powerful enough?"

"No, that is not what I'm saying," Loki scowled at her. "The complexity and structure of the spell alone would take--"

"We could use the same spell structure of traveling the realms," Amora interrupted.

"One of us would have to travel with him," Loki said. "He has no magic and would be unable to control the pathway of the spell. And how would we get back? There would be no path to follow."

"We can cast it together. One of us will go and the other will stay behind to keep the pathway clear."

"We have no clear pathway to his universe!" Loki complained.

"We could scry--"

"Every universe!" Loki tossed her hands in the air. "It's completely impractical! It's complicated and time consuming--"

"It's a challenge, but that doesn't make it impossible--"

Doom slammed his hand down on the table hard, cutting off the argument. He interjected calmly, "It would probably be better to recreate the means in which he arrived here so that we do not cause needless complication," Doom said. He turned to Tony. "Loki was with me, you say?" 

"Yeah," Tony answered. There was something almost surreal about watching them interact. They got along like... normal people. Even the argument was without any real heat. Like they were friends. Except that villains did not make friends. (Except they weren't villains at all.)

Doom went on. "It is likely that Loki had a hand in the machine that made his travel possible. The machine could keep the grounding of the path and make alterations more accurate, while the magic would provide the power and process of breaking our universal walls."

"Relying on technology could lessen the success of the travel," Amora said calmly. "What if your machine failed?"

"It would not fail," Doom said confidently.

"It isn't as if Loki hasn't lent his magic to Doom's creations before," Natasha said, adding her opinion for the first time. "Also, I don't see much loss if Stark dies."

"Your emotions are showing again," Loki told her. Natasha just glared a little in return.

Tony was fairly certain that he had no idea what was going on, anymore. Except for the fact that Natasha had just insulted him. He got that loud and clear.

"I can help, you know," Tony said.

All four turned to look at him. They exchanged glances before Loki spoke. "No offense, Stark, but wasn't your ineptitude with Victor's creations what brought you here in the first place?"

"That was a fluke!" He objected.

"I doubt that," Natasha snorted.

"Why don't you tell me about your universe?' Amora asked, leaning toward him from across the table. She smiled at him, staring deeply into his eyes. Suddenly, talking to Amora seemed like the best idea possible. He barely noticed the others getting up from the table and leaving.

* * *

 

It was at least an hour later before Tony came back to his senses. He looked up to find that Loki had plopped herself on the table in front of him, a wide grin on her face as she looked down at him. "Have a nice chat?"

"I... wha..." Tony began before he stood up and pointed at the two of them. "What the hell did you do?"

"We were talking," Amora answered from her seat across from him. "Don't you remember?"

"I..." He did remember. He remembered doing quiet a bit of talking, but he could at all fathom why he'd done it.

"Don't be upset, dear," Loki said, patting Tony on the head condescendingly. "She pulls that little trick on all the men."

"Is that why you're suddenly parading around like that?" He questioned.

Loki tilted her head and stared at him contemplatively for a moment. "Among other reasons," She answered at last.

"So... Did you make any progress?" Tony questioned.

"Yes," Loki answered. "I'm only here to release you from Amora's hold. It's gotten very late."

"What? How long has it been?" Tony asked.

Amora only smiled at him. "You should get to bed." She stood and smiled at Loki before disappearing.

"Come," Loki said. "I'll lead you back to your room."

Exhaustion was increasingly hitting Tony, but that didn't stop him from commenting as he followed Loki. "I don't have a bed time."

Loki didn't bother to reply as he lead Tony. Following Loki was much harder with how tired he was and he could barely recall the path he was taking.

"You should really let me help, you know." Tony mumbled.

Loki laughed. "Sleep, Stark. You can make your arguments upon the morrow." She pushes him into is room, smiling at him as she closes the door.

Tony is asleep as soon as he hits the bed.


End file.
